Silly Songs with Larry.

Living with the knowledge that you are going to have open heart surgery is a strange experience.  And nothing like I imagined.  Not that I really sat around trying to imagine it.  I have already learnt lessons about myself and how to deal with other people in difficult situations.

For example, how not to:  (A replay of a conversation I had the other day with someone I know.)
Me:  I am glad they found out about it and that I can have the surgery when I am fit and healthy
Person:  Oh, I don't know.  I think they find out too much nowadays.  In the old days the first you would know about it was when you dropped down dead after a heart attack!  That's right isn't' it?  (Question referred to someone else).
Me:  Well, I am glad they have found out.
Thankfully, at that point I had to be somewhere else and was able to leave before I received any more helpful advice and comfort.  True story.

For example, how to help:
I have had a number of people genuinely offer help of any kind when I need it; looking after the children, cooking, shopping etc.  I will take them up on these offers when I know how they can best help.

I am learning to use humour as a useful tool to help me.  I discovered the other day that I will be part Cyberman when I have my new valve!  "As fleshy parts wear out and are replaced with shiny metal, emotions drop out and land with a splat on the floor."  And there is also something slightly amusing about being on the same medications as my parents.

Over the years I have been anxious about many things and could be classed as a worrier.  I am learning to prioritise.  A lot of things are just are not important.  The Bible and prayer have become more important again.  Unfortunately, it has taken a major health issue to show me these things. 

Shush, do not tell anyone but I am learning how to use relaxation techniques in order to keep calm.  (My Evangelical Christian radar sensors are still slightly twitchy at this thought.)  I have a few CDs that were given to me by my Cardiac Nurse (well mine and all her other patients but it makes me feel special).  I am to try them twice a day but once is more realistic.  Whilst I certainly do not agree with the sentiments the lady on one CD expresses the music and the sound of her calm voice are helpful.