A quote about Marriage.

My husband and I are reading a book about Marriage.  No, not THAT book but this one, 'The Meaning of Marriage' by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller.  We read a little each night and have reached Chapter 2: 'The Power for Marriage.'

We read this tonight.

"The principle we have been describing serves as a corrective to a couple of the popular models for "having a satisfying marriage."


There is the conservative approach to marriage that puts a great deal of stress on traditional gender roles.  It says that the basic problem in marriage is that both husband and wife need to submit to their God-given functions, which are that husbands need to be the head of the family, and wives need to submit to their husbands.  There is a lot of emphasis on the differences between men and women.  The problem is that an overemphasis could encourage selfishness, especially on the part of the husband.


There is a more secular approach to marriage that says that the real problem in marriage is that you have to get your spouse to recognize your potential and help you to develop it.  You must not let your spouse trample all over you.  Self-realization is the goal.  You've got to develop yourself in your marriage, and if your spouse won't help you do it, you've got to negotiate.  And if your spouse won't negotiate, you've got to get out to save yourself.  That, of course, also can just pour gas on the fire of selfishness instead of putting it out.


The Christian principle that needs to be at work is Spirit-generated selflessness - not thinking less of yourself or more of yourself but thinking of yourself less.  It means taking your mind off yourself and realizing that in Christ your needs are going to be met and are, in fact, being met so that you don't look at your spouse as your saviour.  People with a deep grasp of the gospel can turn around and admit that their selfishness is the problem and that they're going to work on it  And when they do that, they will often discover an immediate sense of liberation, of waking up from a troubling dream.  They see how small-minded they were being, how small the issue is in light of the grand scheme of things.  Those who stop concentrating on how unhappy they are find that their happiness is growing.  You must lose yourself to find yourself."

How did that rabbit get in my front room?

Now, for those who know me well, it was a shock when I relented and let my youngest daughter have a rabbit for Christmas.

You see folks, I am an avid pet-avoider.  (Dogs mostly scare me and Cats make me sneeze and wheeze.)  I didn't like them as a child and was certain that no child of mine would ever own one.  (I think I said that about girls wearing pink as well, but my resolve slipped there too.)  However, somehow in a moment of madness, whilst out with some friends I agreed to buying one of their baby rabbits.  So on Christmas Eve we took delivery of a beautiful little rabbit.

It was a pleasure to see the look on our girl's face when she opened the box of chew sticks and the penny dropped that there might be a pet in our house!

I have grown fond of the furry creature that lives in its hutch in our Utility Room.  I did insist that it would never cross the kitchen threshold.  One cold Sunday afternoon it was brought through our kitchen and into the front room.  So the rabbit being in its run is a regular sight in our living space.

My family laugh at me as I talk to the rabbit and show signs of genuine affection.  Even I can't work out how that happened.  It was instant.  I enjoy having a rabbit in our home but there is no way we will ever get a dog!

Charlie the rabbit.
(Charlie, because we don't know if it is a boy or girl.)

Re-train my brain

I have spent all my adult life saying 'Can I have a lift, I am sorry I can't drive.  Would you like some money for petrol?'  As of a few weeks ago I no longer have to say that.  I passed my driving test and now am in possession of a full drivers license with my name on it.  I am proud.

I haven't done much independent driving yet though.  I drove about 1 minute to turn the car around and also moved the car in a car park.  I am proud.  I need to go out for a proper drive.  I also need to re-train the way I think.  I can drive without supervision.  Eventually I will be able to go out on my own.  I am going to take it slowly but the skill is there.

After Christmas I will book a Pass plus lesson in order to do some more driving skills, eg Motorway driving.

I am looking forward to many happy and safe years of driving.

Things I love about Christmas

• My little 'Charlie Brown' Christmas tree.
• Christmas Cake.
• Making lots of Christmas cookies and goodies for my family and friends.
• Watching my children get excited.
• Pondering the Incarnation, how did God become a baby?
• Thinking about the wonder of the Shepherds and Wise Men.
• Singing Christmas Carols.
• Carol Services.
• The smell of Christmas spices, cinnamon, cloves, star anise etc etc.
• Glazed Ham.
• Pickles and Chutneys.
• The soft warm glow of a Christmas tree at night.
• Christmas Candles.
• Warm cozy optimism because everything is different.
• Christmas chocolate.
• 'The Lemon Drop Kid'.
• Christmas Dinner.
• Christmas Pudding.
• Reading Mary's Prayer.
• Trying to imagine the look on the faces of Anna and Simeon to seeing Jesus.
• Wondering about Mary and the thoughts she had about being the Mother of God.  Did she wondered how to wean Jesus?  Or how on earth to potty train?
• Fond memories of playing consequences with my brother, sisters and parents.
• Cracking nuts, it doesn't matter which variety, I just love to eat nuts at Christmas.
• Family times and snuggles.
• Walking on the beach on Christmas Eve.
• Stockings and the funny shapes all the presents inside make.
• Watching Dr Who.
• Satsumas.
• Brussel sprouts with Chestnuts and Bacon.
• World vision and alternative Christmas presents.
• Wondering what Jesus would think of 21st century Christmas.

I did originally think I would list the things I hate about Christmas but then realised I would appear much too Scrooge-like so I will desist.

Happy Christmas to you all.  May the love and peace of Jesus be with you all this Christmas time.

The Slide that I wish I could put on the Church Powerpoint

All credit to my brother-in-law for posting this photo on his facebook page with the caption "Get thee behind me Vader."

 

I just wish I could add this to the end of the Powerpoint to see if anyone noticed!!! Maybe I could slip it in small somewhere.

Whose job is it?

Last night we had a church member's meeting.  It went well and was encouraging.  We covered a lot of ground really.  One of the usual chestnuts came up 'Some of the older people can't hear when they sit in the one place in the church where the preaching doesn't reach!'  Suggestion:  Move.  And don't get me wrong I love the older people in my church but sometimes I think the need to sit in the only place you can't hear the sermon comes with being old and in church.  Oh and the music is too loud - turn the volume down then.  (Note to self:  Remember this in 30 years time when ears don't work!)

Anyway, swiftly moving on.  We were able to Praise God for the 3 meetings we have held at church for adults with learning disabilities.  We have another service in December and next year we hope to hold them every 6 weeks on Sunday afternoons.  It is great but it didn't start in a vacumn.  For years members of our church have been working with and alongside a local charity which supports adults with learning disabilities.  The ground had been well ploughed..  It is also a joint venture between us and another church in town.

In the past our churches weren't particularly known for working together.  And this is just one of the ways we are, hurray.  Another way, is the course for young people interested in the Bible, Jesus etc.  Our 2 churches plus another one from a different town are working together to do this.  We have had 2 Sunday nights when the church has had a lot of young people come along.  Tea is provided by one of the churches.  The young people have been known by one or other of the churches for a long time.  Some have been coming from their early years (eg, being brought up in Church families) and some come along to the various youth clubs.

We don't know the outcome of any of these meetings BUT it is wonderful to be a part of it.  In my case, that means making a cake and just being there to help as and when.  Lots of Christians are involved and each with a job to do.  If only we could get this all the time:  it isn't exclusively our work.  Not one of us can do it without other Christians helping.  I 100% believe that God has a work for each believer to do but it doesn't depend on individuals.  None of us are indispensable as Christians.  It is God that makes what we do grow.

So let us get out there, look around and see what God has for us to do, work together and leave the results to Him.

A Book a Day keeps the cobwebs away.

We are a family of words.  And lots of them (I kissed the Blarney Stone twice, so I don't know what you expect really.)  Our youngest daughter risks disinheritance by proclaiming that she 'doesn't like reading' but we are willing to forgive her because she is very cute.  Our eldest daughter is a reader.  She loves reading, and will do so anywhere.  She even has books in her bed!

Many years ago we started a family tradition!  Well my husband did, as a way to keep the girls calm whilst I made tea.  He read them a book with Chapters - "Jack Fox Detective".  He has fond memories of this from childhood.  His original copy had gone the way of many of his toys and books but his dad managed to track down a copy for him.  Real life detective work.  :)

It was the first of many books we have read our children.  Occasionally (at the grand old ages of 8 and 10) they declare they are too old for this nightly ritual* but most times they beg for 'just one more Chapter'.  My husband and I take it in turns to choose the book.  I have read the whole 'Little House on the Prairie'series to them and am now plowing my way through the 'Anne' books (although our local 2nd handbook shop has discourteously sold the next one to someone else!)  In order to restore the balance he reads 'Paddington Bear', 'Swallows and Amazons', 'Dr DooLittle' and the like.  He also, sneaks a 'Narnia' book in on a Sunday afternoon!  I never enjoyed them as a child but am finding them surprisingly interesting; perhaps the fact that I am half asleep helps.  Sadly, we haven't keep a precise list of all the books we have read so with time we are forgetting some.

We have only given up on one book and that was after about 4 chapters.  It was the literary equivalent of watching paint dry and that was with my husband condensing the words!  So I am afraid to say 'Swiss Family Robinson' doesn't get a recommendation from this family.

And this is a book I want to read because I think it is cool that we aren't the only family to have done this.
http://www.amazon.com/Reading-Promise-Father-Books-Shared/dp/0446583774

* Our nightly ritual/routine goes something like this and happens about 5 times a week:

We have always believed in getting our children nice and calm just before bed.  It has adapted and evolved over the years but the essentials of it stay the same.  We have tea at about 5.30pm.  This is followed by 'jobs' - each family member has something that needs to be done.  The girls then go and get themselves ready for bed.  About 6.30 pm we are all ready to pile on the sofa and snuggle up ready for story time.  Each child goes with a parent and we take turns.  Then the reading begins.  Occasionally, the non-reading parent has been known to 'rest their eyes'.  We follow story time by Bible Time which of late the children have been more involved in as it got a bit stale for a while.  After this the children go to bed with kisses, cuddles, 'what to dream of' and we sing 'The Lord bless you and keep you.'  We shut the bedroom door and about 75% of the time the girls go straight to sleep.

It works for us.  And there have been days when our family life has been so fraught that this little routine has been the only good part.  So we stick to it.  And plan to for as long as we are able.

So if you have any good Chapter books then please let me know.  Answers on a postcard please or alternatively bung them in the comments section.