The Word

We are a family of words.  We all like to read in varying degrees.  My husband and eldest daughter would do so all day and night if life didn't get in the way.  I love books and my youngest daughter loves to be read to.  We also love songs.  I am often on the look-out for different artists that I can listen to.  Some are successful and pass my filter and others get blocked for a whole load of reasons.

A few years ago just after I moved to my present location a friend pointed me towards a Sarah Groves' song; one which got me through many a difficult time and that I couldn't listen to without crying for well over 18 months!

I haven't exercised for a few weeks because of a cold.  This morning I felt better so put on Leslie Sansome on Youtube and started walking.  I have done this video so many times so I muted Leslie and plugged myself into my MP3 Player.  I listened to another Sara Grove song which struck me.  Here it is:  http://youtube/0ofE-GZ8zTU

I have been a Christian since I was 12 years old, was brought up in a Christian home and have been surrounded by Christian doctrine forever.  However, sometimes hearing something old in song helps me to say 'Wow, I get that.'.   I love the following verse and the chorus.

I think it's time I rediscover 

All the ground that I have covered,
Like seek ye first what a verse
We are pressed but not crushed
Perplexed but don't despair
We are persecuted but not abandoned
We are no longer slaves
We are daughters and sons
And when we are weak we are very strong
And neither death nor life nor present
Nor future nor depth nor height
Can keep us from the love of Christ
And the Word I need is the Word that was
Who put on flesh to dwell with us
In the beginning

CHORUS

The Word was

The Word is

And the Word will be

Jesus is that Word.  I will end this post with the following verses from the opening chapter of the Gospel of John in the Bible:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.   He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.   In him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

Are we there yet?

At the beginning of Lent I put Facebook and some of my favourite websites into my Safe-eyes programme as blocked sites.  So far I have thoroughly enjoyed the time away from the constant nagging to 'just check'.  I can't, so therefore I don't.  I am thinking of only looking at these sites once a week when this period of time is over.  I will search out ways of doing so either in Safe-eyes or via my Internet provider.  I know that I am not strong enough to do this without that little help!

God knew that I would need to be away from the screen as we have had a crazy time over here in the real world.  A lady who started attending our church on New Years Day has died; she was very young.  We attended her Funeral yesterday and some of it I found so sad.  I didn't know her well but was looking forward to getting to know her better.  She was a bright, intelligent lady but also someone who had suffered many different things immensely during her short 36 years.  Her sister spoke about her during the Thanksgiving part of the Funeral; it made me think about my girls and the need for them to remain friends.  We have to do what we can to help that as far as we are able.  Also, I thought of my youngest sister and the friendship we have shared over the years.  It was another reminder to work on friendship because we do not know what time there is left.

We have also had cases at church which have required our help, the details of which I cannot write on line due to confidentiality issues.  I do believe that God is using these things to challenge my own prejudices about myself and other issues that I have long held.  I am a 'black and white' person and life isn't always like that.  I am learning that no matter what happens or who we have to help, the grace of God is sufficient.  It doesn't always look like we imagine and sometimes it is hard.  For many years I was a person who could be hard and then I moved to my present location!  I have learnt to feel more and sometimes it hurts.

During my break I have written down my thoughts at the end of each day.  There is something wonderful about using my proper Ink pen and watching the words flow on the page.  I was given the pen by my granddad more than 20 years ago.  At the moment I have blue Ink but will look around for some purple or maybe some green.

I am enjoying the time I have with my family and realise that some of our long held traditions which may seem quaint to others are so important.  They are also ones that I need to build on and not allow slip for the sake of a 'quick look' at Facebook.

And on that note I must go and join the others in the garden.  It is a beautiful day and one of my daughters is asking skipping advice through the window.  I better go and oblige.

Killer ducks, horse manure and 2 red-headed ragamuffins.

I have been a parent for nearly 9 years, and the more I walk that path the less sure I feel about my naively-held theories on the subject.  Some of my long-thought out dictates on parenting still hold, some are wavering on the brink of extinction and others have bitten the dust long ago.

One thing I am learning recently is that children need to achieve something regularly.  My youngest daughter has recently had a change of teacher as her regular teacher is off long-term sick (again); the supply is amazing.  The class is now taught by 2 lady teachers and a teaching assistant and the combination is doing wonders for my child's enthusiasm for reading.  They seem to set her small targets and encourage her to reach them.  It is lovely to see her attitudes change.

My other daughter is having semi-regular horse-riding lessons and she is doing incredibly well.  She looks a natural on the horse (unlike me who has never fully recovered from the childhood trauma of a horse sneezing over me whilst eating grass!)  For some reason she seems to get the slow, lazy horses but her teacher is always impressed with how well she gets them to trot along without much help from her leader.  My heart swelled with pride when another mum commented on how well she thought my daughter was doing.

We had a Cupcake Event at church the other evening and they were able to attend.  I am not known for my great abilities in cake decoration; butter icing and a few chocolate buttons is about all you will get from me.  However, my girls were rather good.  Here are the cakes that they decorated:

Number 1 daughter's cake creations.

Number 2 daughter's cake creations.

The teddy bear and ducks are made out of fondant icing.  I think the ducks were slightly adapted by the lady  supervising them to do away with the killer duck aspect that my number 2 daughter had added to the cake!!!

And finally the great joy I had, when visiting a local library my husband has a subscription to, coming around the corner to see both my girls sat on the floor with a book in hand reading almost oblivious to the fact they were blocking the corridor!  Nobody minded though as this was a library and there were children in it reading. 

Thank you for allowing me to share a few moments of pride and joy that my girls have given me over the past few months.  It feels good.

Caesura

Caesura - A friend of mine wrote a poem based on this word.  Technically, it is pause in a line of poetry or music.  I like the word and I remember liking the poem but can't find a copy of it now.

Today, is the start of Lent.  Last night we had waffles instead of pancakes but they are more or less the same thing.  Usually, that is where my Lent observation begins and ends.  This year I read a blog post about how to mark Lent, and one thing was to cut Internet time.  If I was brave I would unplug completely but I am the type of person who needs to make my goals achievable otherwise I fall at the first hurdle.  Also, there are some websites that have helped me develop good exercising practices so I will keep going with those.

I realised that like most people of my generation I spend way too much time on here.  Also, like my generation I try to pretend that I don't.  So last week I faced up to facts.  I decided that for Lent this year I would get my Internet usage into perspective.  I have placed Facebook, a PW Forum and some blogs into my computer's 'blocked sites' list and will not be using them until the end of Lent.  I had to do this because I know left to my own devices, I would be back on them by the end of the week.  So, if your blog has gone in there it is nothing to do with you, just the amount of time and energy I was spending on it.

At the end of the time, I will re-evaluate things and I may cut my Facebook friends list down.

God willing, I will use the time I save to:

• Spend more quality time with my family, without the haze of a computer screen in my glasses.
• Spend more time with God.
• Spend more time with friends in my town.  Build real-life friendships.
• Spend more time building up my long-distance friendships, some of which are only there because of the Internet.
• Do more thorough cleaning.  My house is pretty tidy but there are lots of areas that don't get done which should.
• Read more books.
• Listen (or watch, using iplayer ironically) to some Lent Lectures.
• Rebuild the margins in my life.
• Develop real hospitality in my home.
• Keep cooking and learn more skills.
• Maybe, start a needle craft again.

I think that is enough for the moment or I will be in danger of settings the bar too high and then I will fail. 

Rest

I occasionally suffer from 'black dog' days.  I am not a pretty person to be around during them.  I push everyone around me away.  And in the midst of them I genuinely do not seem to know how to stop it or the emotional consequences.  Like many people of my generation, I don't rest or replenish low batteries much at other times either.  Even if I am sitting down watching TV, surfing the net or reading a book, my brain is always on the go.  This leads to an overload when something tough happens and it triggers a bad day or two.  It causes an inability to see, hear or feel anything properly.

However, I do love music but a lot of what I listen to is 'active' and noisy.  I love rhythm but in order to switch off I need soft, soulful music.  Music that will calm my heart, mind and soul.

For today this song fitted the bill:

Parenting: My kind of freedom.

I thought becoming a mum would be easy.  After all, I am one of four children and my mum never had any troubles in that department.  I had two ambitions growing up: Becoming a wife.  Having children; four of them.

I married relatively young (22 years old) and wanted children almost straight away.  I imagined the warm fuzzy family that we would have.  Our children would have biblical names and all be extremely well behaved!  They would also have delicate red curly hair and eyes the colour of my husband's.  I was going to be the most maternal mum ever.

Reality didn't mirror our dreams in any way.  I never did manage to carry a baby to term; we lost 4 babies through miscarriage.

Thank God, that our story didn't end there; we became parents through adoption.  My family looks different from the one I imagined.  My girls have red hair but the curls are nowhere to be seen.  Their first names were given to them by another set of parents and their behaviour is often less than perfect.  But the girls are ours (don't anyone try to tell me any different) and given to us by God so we still have to do the job of parenting.

I am writing this post to link up with Sarah's Carnival.  I came into marriage with lots of ideas/ideals about the kind of parent I would be.  However, waiting nearly 8 years, going through an adoption process and then becoming a mum to 2 children on one day shot some of those to pieces!  I love my girls but we have had challenges to face.  One of my daughters, especially, has tested my patience to the limit and many times I have failed.

The practice that has helped me through the years of parenting is routine and consistency.  I remember in the first few weeks after the girls were placed that we went for a nap every time they did.  Those scheduled sleeps were a life saver, as were the set bedtimes.  Many a time I felt overwhelmed by the long day which stretched ahead of me; 'Oh, my goodness! They have had breakfast, I have had breakfast, we are all washed and dressed and it is still only 9am!'  My routines helped break the day into smaller, more manageable slots.

Other routines over the years have poured a salve on my wounded heart after many a bad day of parenting. (Either their tantrums, my reactions or both!):  The long bedtime routine, the stories that we read each night and their excitement as to what is going to happen next in our chapter books, the time of sleep/calm after dinner when the girls are home, the Saturday morning walk to the shops with daddy, the Christmas corner that we set up each year, the travel bag my girls pack for every long journey, the nightly bible times we share together, sitting down each night as a family to eat dinner etc etc etc.  I love my routines and they have helped me be a better parent.  I know full well that spontaneity has a place and that is something I need to learn too but for the moment we will stick with the routines.

God knew that our parenting experience would not be anything like we thought; that we would face things that we could never have imagined 9 years ago before our girls came, but He has guided and protected through the years and will do so in the ones to come.

Perseverance and the hope of Christ

This year I want to start thinking of Christian things in a deeper way.  However, what I want to focus on is things like my hope in Christ, and how the Holy Spirit can overcome my many fears, and give strength and courage even when life is pants. 


On Sunday, I have to do the Children's talk at Church.  I struggle each time to think of what to say that might be original, snappy and that will have the children eating out of my hand.  When nothing like that comes to mind, I usually give up and search my memory bank for something I said at my last church.  I have a few historical characters who are my heroes; and one of them is Eric Liddell.  I used to like his story even before I started running.  


Eric was born in China in 1902 and died there from a brain tumour in 1945.  From my reading of him, everything he did, he worked hard at it.  He was a good athlete and a strong Christian and worked hard at both whilst at University in Edinburgh.  He played Rugby for the Scottish National Team as well as competing in many athletic events.  


In 1924 the Paris Olympics took place.  Eric is well known for refusing to compete in the 100 metres race because it was held on a Sunday.  He instead, competed the 400 metres and broke World and Olympic records.  


From 1925-1943 he was a Missionary in China.  He married and had 3 daughters but also continued to run whilst teaching Science to rich Chinese students.  China was invaded by Japanese forces in 1937 but Eric stayed and helped many.  The British Government wanted him to leave China as the situation worsened.  He stayed while his family left for Canada.  (He would never see them again.)  


Eric, along with other Westerners was sent to Weihsein Interment Camp in 1943.  He helped many people while there with food, and other needs.  He was put in charge of organising things, taught children and helped out with the teenagers by refereeing football matches for them.  He was never observed being grumpy or forlorn.  He gave up a chance for release by allowing his place to go to a pregnant lady.  He suffered greatly, he missed his family and missed the birth of his 3rd daughter.  He did all of this out of His love for Jesus and because this is how he serve Him.  He died 21st February 1945 (five months before the liberation of Japan) from a brain tumour. 


This man did everything well and worked hard.  He ran the race that God had set before Him.  It was a hard race; one if I had been on it, would have complained, moaned and most likely fallen at the first hurdle.  Some verses in Romans chapter 5: 1-5 say 'Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.'