A Calm Heart

February 2020 marked the seventh anniversary of my Open Heart Surgery.  In many ways, I am more laid-back about things now than I was before.  I realised that I have to be.  This heart of mine needs to be looked after, and not just physically.  Of course I need to take care of it by exercising (building its strength) and relaxing (reducing its stress), but it needs much more than that.  During this time of world-wide pandemic and social unrest in America, I believe that God is teaching me many life lessons. One of them being; look after your heart spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically as well.  There are many ways of doing this: a relationship with God, reading good books and articles, I am learning the importance of music, developing meaningful friendships etc.  One area where this can be extremely difficult is the area of facebook and social media.

I am a regular facebook-user but have a love-hate relationship with it.  There are days when I rue the day I ever accepted that first friendship invitation and others when I love the community of it.  Over the years there are some "friends", pages etc that I have deleted, those that are not good for the heart or soul.  Some, with whom I have no other connection other than facebook, were easy to delete but others where there is some kind of relationship were more difficult.  I have discovered the unfollow button, which means I can still be "friends" but their posts do not have to appear on what I see.   Still some of what I read, I have come to the conclusion, is not good for my heart/soul health.  I am getting fed-up with the supposed depth of some of it; the post and run as I like to call it.  I get annoyed by what is posted and would love to have great conversations about it.  However, I  know that having a proper relationship with people is essential to real dialogue, and this is not always possible through the forum of facebook (or other social media platforms).    I have been blessed with finding out some great information over the past few weeks about things of great importance (eg, why Black Lives Matters etc) but am still astounded by the triviality of facebook. I am learning that I need to treat facebook as it is: a place where I can connect on one level.  I can find out about your thoughts etc but it must not substitute real friendship.  

I know that taking facebook less seriously will not solve everything but will help maintain and build the calmness of my heart (both ethereal and physical), so that I can work on those friendships that I have outside the world of facebook and other social media.

What restraint manual are you using?

On Monday, a tragedy occured on the other side of the world.  In actuality it was a travesty.  A man was arrested in America, Minneapolis to be precise, and by the end of that day he was dead.  This man was black and he died at the hands of the police officers who arrested him.  His life was taken from him because, ... well actually there was no reason why.  It would appear this man died that day because he was black.  He should not have died on Monday 25th May 2020, but he did due to the deliberate actions and complicit inactions of others. 

The police officers said he resisted arrested, except this video appears to show a very different story.  This man was George Floyd; he was a son, a friend, a brother, a human being created in the image of God.  He will be missed greatly and mourned deeply because his life was snatched from him due to the conscious choices of other men .  The police officer decided to take another man's life, despite the protests of people around.  His colleagues, in my opinion, are equally guilty, as they did not do anything to stop their work-mate.

From the evidence which has been broadcast via the Internet, it is murder and, in my opinion, should be tried as such.  (Please note, this video is very disturbing.  Therefore, I have not linked it here.  It can be found by typing George Floyd into any search engine).  On the video you hear the officers tell George to get into the car.  However, that is impossible when you have more than one person holding you down with excessive force.  In no sector could what was witnessed be called reasonable restraint, nowhere is it ever taught to hold a person down with your knee on their neck.  Whatever system of restraint you use, this would be deemed excessive.  Proper legal restraint is used for the safety of the person, and others, in volatile situations in order that things do not escalate into something worse.  That was not happened here.  The officer did not even remove his knee when the paramedics were trying to ascertain if George had a pulse.  Thankfully, the police officers involved have been sacked, but sadly only after protests.  They should now be arrested for the crime which they committed.

And sadly, this is not the only time this year that a black man was killed due to the reckless actions of others.  It is both heartbreaking and digusting to hear about these incidents.   And they are just the tip of the iceberg. 

After another such incident in 2014, someone who knows from first-hand experience that being black can cause unsolicited aggression/arrest wrote and performed the following poem. He puts the fear that black people feel and the solution into words much better than I can.  So I will leave it here, I hope that you will take the five minutes it will take to listen.  It is worth it.

Silence has broken, maybe.

It would appear that I have not had much to write about for the past six years.  Well not here anyway.  For three of those years I was studying for a degree and had to do a lot of writing.  I read an abundance of different types of literature and had to condense my thoughts into something academic, in order to submit my written assignments.  I must not have done a bad job as I now have a Bsc.  However, I graduated nearly two years ago, and have not written much since.  I have decided to attempt blogging again. I am not sure why.  Although the other day a whole piece of writing came into my head, so maybe that is the reason.  On the other hand, it could have something to do with the fact that I am on medically-advised lockdown. Who really knows?

Life is very different than it was when I first started blogging.  For a start the world is in the middle of a pandemic, and the UK is in lockdown.  It is not just globally that things have changed. My family life looks very different too.  Nowadays I am a mum to two working daughters who are astoundingly different, but at the same time hugely similar.  As they are older teenagers, they probably will not feature much in these posts. 

As a household we still have pets, but the rabbit is a different one and the guinea pigs have come and gone.  However, a major change in this household is the introduction of a dog.  After years of mind-tricks and gentle persuasion, my youngest daughter now has the puppy she longed for most of her life.  I am still holding out against the chickens and mini-animals which she would introduce to the property in a heart beat if I let her.

Over five years ago, after a very long time hunting, we bought a house.  I have enjoyed stepping on the mortgage ladder.  My husband, not so much.  In addition, a further step of adulting was having to buy a new car.  For clarification, we have owned cars for nearly two decades, but always had a friend in the business help us buy them.  Nearly two years ago, our car needed changing and we had to search and buy a new one by ourselves.  Actually my husband did all the work, all I did was transfer money into the correct accounts. 

So, I think I will give this blogging lark a try again.  It may or may not work, as at sometime I will have to come off this medical lockdown and go back to work.  The posts will be written from the worldview of being a Christian and someone who feels like they are sidewards in a parallel world.  Those two things may be connected, but not necessarily.  And even if it all comes to a grinding halt, I have enjoyed writing this post.  So, lets crank up the motor and see what happens.